If anyone is still checking in on me (like me!) and this blog, let me just say that for now I am blogging off. I need to make it official. This is for you Rowena. The reason? Not much to say is the real reason. Now my life is taken up with the very ordinary stage of "getting better", getting my energy back and so on. I am back at work. That's a whole other blog topic right there! Because I have decided to retire. I actually decided a year ago to accept Novalis's generous offer that would enable me to do this. Who knew then that part of that time would be dealing with cancer.
My need to focus on what I was feeling during the cancer dance was so important because it helped me contain it in a way I could not have otherwise. It deconstructed my anxiety and helped me wrestle with my fear.
Now, and maybe only for now, that particular travail is over. And so it's time to rest. And turn my heart and mind to what lies ahead.
Maybe the day I officially retire, I'll start blogging again. Everyone keeps asking what I am going to do when I retire and I have always said, "Nothing...at least for a minute". Because I am not too good at planning the future or foreseeing what may happen. I've always wanted an ocean of freedom to swim in. Now may be that time. Plus it's always more interesting that way. I want to be open to all possibilities and also want to believe, if I pay enough attention, I will know what less travelled road to take. The great unknown excites me.
For any of you who have followed this and are reading this last bit....of course, not my sister (hey, I was going to stop saying that!) ...thank you for being with me through this...knowing there was a little self-chosen audience encouraged me to write, to not take everything too seriously, to be open and as honest as I dared to be (even to myself!).
A la prossima!
It was good to follow your cancer journey and I realize that you have a very authentic writers voice. Yes, the future! Whatever twists and turns lie before us all. I still want to walk the camino in the next few years. My challenge is to figure out how I can farm and still have freedom to do my other projects, mostly in Europe. Perhaps I need a commune so people can take turns staying home with the sheep and chickens.
ReplyDeleteCome for a visit to our new farm!