Getting it all out...why even a little means a lot

Yesterday I meant to start "clearing the deck" and getting certain things out where I or someone else could see them...no not all the stuff around the house but stuff  for family, friends, etc. Like a cheque for the window installer in case the windows get done while I'm in the hospital or at mom and dad's for the first week of recovery.

In between wonderful encouraging, thinking of you e-mails and phone calls from Moose, Susan B., Pete A and others,  I wandered down to the basement and found some powdery efflorescence on the floor. It looked like fluff or mold or something like that. I hooked up the shop vac and phfft -Gone. And then stuffed some old rags etc and took them out to the garbage. And then I cleaned the corner that had been piled with things from various shifting of "stuff". Then I got the Mr. Kelly's old armoire ready to be moved by Blair and Blaine. They'd volunteered to bring it down from my bedroom- third floor! " to the porch where it is awaiting a pickup by Joan and Bruno. Maybe. That meant taking it out the kitchen door, down the stairs through Mary FRan's. The guys are my heros. Then we had a dinner of some fabulous cheese from Bourgougne (Burgundy), dad's salami, vine and beefsteak tomatoes.
I also cleared the porch and put out  the chest that was full of junk, old hangers..and dragged it, the "nipple" lamp in the bamnt, a deflated exercise ball, Prill's old laundry hamper basket all out to the curb. The basket  went first, the light fixture net and then the chest.

I love that it's all gone, that my room is emptier now and am hepped up to get rid of more. Gabe came over for a visit tonight and I hauled out some "treasures" to give to her and Rowena. I have two weeks to whittle down.
Last night, I had a startling realization which I don't know what to do with. Its stayed with me all day. It came while the boys and I were talking about surgery and being knocked out - anaesthesia. About how, when we went under, we could remember nothing of the surgery and then we would wake up. And it struck me that if something does wrong, I won't even know and that would be that. It made me gasp mentally.